The Secret Novel

I have always dabbled in writing since I was a little girl. I have written poems, short stories and I even wrote a small play. I always have little ideas for screenplays, tv pilots, or novels and I'll jot down my ideas and then never really do anything with them. This one idea that I have for a novel just keeps coming up over and over and over again though. It just nags at me constantly and I feel like I've finally come to a point where I'm just going to have to do something about it. I don't want to say much about the presmise because it just seems to intimate right now for me let it any of it go. I want to hold on to the secret a little longer and let it stew. I have jotted down in a notebook some of the key ideas and even large chunks of what will someday become chapters , but its funny because it would be pretty hard for anyone to decipher what I wrote. It is all in wierd Jen code....strange, I know, but I just feel so secretive about the plot right now. I'm not worried about anyone stealing my idea or anything like that, I just don't fell like I'm ready to reveal anything other than what I'm saying in this blog, just yet. There are things I want to say right now about the plot in this blog, but I know I regret it later, so I'm going to savor that fact that I know what it is about and no one else does and just be satisfied that I at leats admitted that there is something in the works. I guess I can say this: I know of certain people in my life that may read it, if it ever materializes into something tangible, and have very strong feelings regarding what I have written. I guess that is the hardest part is just letting go of the fear that you are letting someone into your mind.